WordsofJoi

African Bath

2007-09-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

When I went to Africa a couple of years ago, we either took cold showers or had to heat up water on the stove and bring it to the bathroom in a bucket where we would add cold water until it was the right temp, then you'd take a large cup and poor the warm water over you until you were thoroughly washed.

This is what we've been doing the last couple of days. The boiler seems to be non-functional currently. The first week we were in the house it would shut off about every 24 hours. This was bothersome because we had to go down and reset it every night if we wanted a warm shower in the morning. It was making me nervous because I thought, well, if it keeps turning off maybe there is really something wrong and it could be dangerous. I called the company listed on a sticker on it and they said that there was nothing to worry about - probably only needed to be adjusted and cleaned - unless it was powering off immediately. Then we should get it looked at right away because it could be dangerous. It was Friday morning when I made that call and I'm thinking, cool, we can wait a bit - as long as we get it done before it freezes - to get it fixed. But then that night, I went to reset it and it shut off immediately. So I left it and now we will need to call right away tomorrow morning to get this thing fixed. Thank heavens we have a home warranty!

In the meantime, it is African Baths for us.

Up to our eyes in boxes!

2007-09-23T16:18:00.000-04:00

So we didn't actually get to sleep over at the house until three nights ago. We started moving things over immediately, but we had a very busy weekend, what with wedding season in full swing, followed by a very busy week with all kinds of evening activities. I will try to remember to take some photos of the maze that we are in right now and see if I can update this post later. Once we get things put into their proper places we will be living very zen - you know, lots of open space, very little furniture. But in the meantime it looks as if we are one of those hoarding families.

We've had some trip-ups. Like our box-spring does not fit through the stairwell. Thus we cannot get it up to the bedroom. Thus we are sleeping on the mattress on the floor and will need to buy a platform bed. The front door won't latch unless it is locked. Not such a big deal, and I think I can fix this pretty easily. I will also need to install a doorbell right away because we don't hear the knocking on the outer door at all. The basement door, on the other hand, is stuck shut and will not open unless you stick a screwdriver in the top to pry it so. This is inconvenient, but wouldn't be a problem if the boiler/water heater system didn't keep mysteriously keep shutting off, which requires that I go down and reset it so we can have hot water. This last thing is the only really concern. We've got to get it in order before winter.

Even with all of the mess and complication, though, we feel like we are on vacation! It is wonderful! No screaming and ranting upstairs neighbors at 6am. No dog barking incessantly. No constant traffic. No feeling like your on display when you go to your car or take the trash out. Aaaaah... And we get to be here for the foreseen future because we own this house!

We did it!!!

2007-09-14T11:24:00.000-04:00

We are now the proud owners of this beautiful sight:

There is a lot of work to do (more than it appears), but we are ready for the challenge! We finally signed the papers last night around 7pm and got the keys this morning. After the signing we went over and just parked in OUR driveway for a little while gazing at the house. I am in the process of getting utilities changed over right now and then I'll go over and do some cleaning before we start MOVING IN!!

Oie!!

2007-09-13T16:45:00.000-04:00

We were supposed to close at 2:30pm today (note that it is 4:45pm now). At the last minute the paperwork needed to be redone and things got pushed back, and then back again. So now we will meet with our lawyer at 6:45pm to sign the papers. We will not likely get the keys tonight, but instead will get them tomorrow morning. WE. ARE. SO. CLOSE! Only one more morning with Crazy Neighbor Lady!!! Happy, happy, happy!!

2007-09-11T22:22:00.000-04:00

We're still awfully lonely around here. The grief comes in waves, though, and tonight was a doozy. It just hits sometimes. That sickening empty feeling that I could only imagine before is now very, very real. We wish she would come back to us, but we don't wish for the circumstances that would make that have to happen. I am going through the motions at work. Seems I'm getting the bare minimum done. The last couple of days have been a bit of a whirlwind, what with getting all of our finances - finally - in order to buy this house. Final walk-though on the house tomorrow. Close on Thursday. Very exciting. Very unreal.

Gone.

2007-09-05T14:44:00.000-04:00

We packed her up and sent her on her way. I'm still crying. I don't know that I'll stop anytime soon.

Beginnings and Endings

2007-09-03T13:32:00.000-04:00

Today is our 1st wedding anniversary. It has been a fantastic year. So full we can hardly believe it and the beginnings of so many new things in the works. We brought out that top layer of our cake and shared it with K's fam. It was just as good as we remembered it. Even so today is bittersweet and neither of us feel much like celebrating. We will postpone the actual glory of being married for a year in a couple weeks. Sweetie is leaving in less than 48 hours and we need to let it wear off. We are both brittle. Neither of us can bear to begin packing her things up. We are both taking the day off on Wednesday so we can be a family for the last time while we get her all set for the 2pm drop-off. She has begun to whimper and cry much more in the past couple of days. Especially when we leave people's houses. I think she really knows, and feels, that she is potentially seeing these people who have been huge supports to us as a family for the last time. They are hugging her just a bit longer than they usually do. She has been having tummy aches in the morning. She and I snuggle on the couch with lots of blankets, with a big bowl by us just in case, and watching the 1st movie of Harry Potter over and over. I wish she felt better. I wish her tummy wasn't in knots. But I have to admit, I will always remember her snuggling in, looking up and saying, just because, "Mama, I love you." In so many ways, whether she is conscious of it or not, she is putting our prior conversations together to understand that this is really good-bye.

Her father has said he wants to keep in contact with us. We would like that and hope that he does. He will have my e-mail address and I'm getting a P.O. Box so we can write back and forth. Hopefully he really does want to keep in contact.

going

2007-08-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

I really do have high hopes for the reunification. But all things considering, we have to be realistic that a guy who didn't do so well with even one kid before, and his girlfriend who has never had kids of her own, will be taking on 3 children age 3 and under, so we will hope for the best and prepare for the worst. We will take a break, though, with the foster care bit. To set up house. To be just us. You know, what we didn't get a chance to do after we got married! We figure that we'll take in a kid or so around November. In the meantime, we've got our hands full with letting go of Sweetie. There is a Foster Care Review on the 27th. We will put it out there that we'd like to continue to be a part of her life, whether that's with occasional visits or support for the family or whatever. But I think it will be important for her to know that we haven't abandoned her. Ok, not any more rested. Must sleep now.

She's going.

2007-08-17T15:46:00.000-04:00

Peanut is leaving. She's been with us almost a year, but now she goes back to Bio Dad and New Girlfriend on Sept 5th. It was originally scheduled for Sept. 3rd, but since that is our anniversary, we had them postpone it a couple of days. She's starting to have a hard time with it. She doesn't say so outright, but her behavior has been acting up somewhat. Screaming for no reason at all for hours on end. Throwing meals across the dining room. Dusting her entire room with baby powder. You know the usual trouble in paradise. The child therapist said to expect this. On the bright side, even while she is giving us a little bit o hell, she does seem excited about going to live with Bio Dad. And I think that he's finally gotten his act together, so that this may actually work.

Comical

2007-08-15T20:07:00.000-04:00

So we're buying a house. I said that before. This has been a wonderful, stressful, and certainly educational experience. But today I just had to laugh. I get an e-mail from the our loan officer. The processing people, whoever they may be, have to clear one thing up: why I make more money this year than I did last year. Wha?! Don't people usually make just a tad more from one year to the next? So anyway, I wrote a little letter explaining my upward mobility. You know, got a better job, got a raise, got another raise kinda thing. I was tempted to say that I was on my way to a third (which I do believe is true), but thought that might baffle them to the point of denying us the loan.

Midnight post

2007-07-28T23:53:00.000-04:00

Tea set up for tomorrow. Lights out. Porch light on - expecting K home soon.

Good night all.

11:30pm - post in support of Baggage

2007-07-28T23:27:00.000-04:00

Finished cleaning fridge, scrubbed sink, gave up on housework. Surfed to pointless ends on net. Too tired to do this. Brain not working. Will do one more post at the witching hour. Then I'm off to Z-Land.

11:00pm - in support of Baggage

2007-07-28T22:57:00.000-04:00

Put away laundry, set out laundry to do tomorrow, began to clean out fridge, stocked fridge with Pediasure, put on music so I do not fall asleep.

My eyelids are feeling droopy, but I will keep this up. It is a good way to do things. I may even try it randomly when I have a lot of things that I don't want to do to get done. Did you follow that. I wish I could vacuum, but I fear if I did that Peanut would wake up and that would not be cool. Say, have you seen the ad for Bee Movie. I'm going to go see that. Perhaps without Peanut. It looks fun. Boy I wish I had people commenting or asking me questions. Can you tell that I'm searching for things to say?

One of my favorite recordings: Peanut chanting over and over, at the top of her lungs, "Impeach Bush, Impeach Bush, Impeach Buuuuush!" Ahhh, we have a little social worker in the making!

10:30pm - in support of Baggage

2007-07-28T22:32:00.001-04:00

Laundry folded. Mom called, so I was on the phone mostly.

It's funny, so much is going on that I don't even know where to begin. I mean, I told you about Peanut leaving and about the house, and they really take up a lot of space in our world right now, but beyond that where do I begin...

Peanut and I tried to go see Ratatouille today. She did well the 1st half. Then had to go to the bathroom and then wanted popcorn and a hot dog. I got these things for her, but then she didn't want to go back in. Then when I persuaded her to go back in she wouldn't eat the stuff I got her - grrr. Worse than that, she was talking very loudly and boucing on her chair, which was in severe need of some WD-40. I shushed her and took her out of the theater to tell her that she needed to be quiet or we'd have to leave. She agreed and we went back in. She continued her antics. I shushed her again. She let out a high pitched scream that only small children know how to do. I picked her up and we left, with her screaming the whole way. The popcorn got left in the theater. Waste. I think I may go to see the moving on my own tomorrow.

Now, maybe I'll get some things done before I post again.

10:00pm - in support of Baggage

2007-07-28T21:57:00.000-04:00

Ok, I did the dishes, wiped down the counter, and put cleaner on the kitchen sink to sit and bleach itself white. Have added cleaner and dryer sheets to the grocery list. Put AC on because I am getting overheated.

The other big news is that we put in an offer on a house! This is huge. HUGE! We love it and I think it will work quite well for doing foster care. In fact, I think we will need to construct a barracaid againt DSS until we are able to take in kids. We're going to take some recovery/put-things-in-perspective time. There is probably enough space for 5 children. We will not do this. Peanut had us at our wits end at times. I say tops is 3, and only one to start out with - let's ease into things here. But K wants more. They say after 2 it's all the same. I wonder if that's true...

Ok, this is short, but I am bent on getting some housework done - and keeping up with how Baggage is doing.

I know you can do it!

9:30pm post

2007-07-28T21:19:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm back. Cleaned table off, made bed and brought clean laundrey out to couch, discovered that we need dryer sheets before any more laundry is done, straightened toy area.

The big news since I last blogged is that Peanut is leaving in September. This is a heartbreaker. But I do have high hopes that it will work out. She has grown up so much in the 9 months that we've had her, it is undescribable. She is now potty trained 95% of the time. She eats. And because she eats, she grows. She has just gone threw (sp?) a major growth spurt and has now outgrown most of her 2T cloths and some of her 3T clothes. She needs all new shoes - all of a sudden - because her toes have popped out the end of her sandals!

More big news it a bit, now I will go do the dishes.

In support of Baggage and Bug

2007-07-28T21:09:00.001-04:00

I have been missing from Blogland for quite awhile, but I feel inspired tonight. Baggage of BaggageandBug is doing a blog-a-thon where she has to post every half an hour for 24 hours in suppor of the Foster and Adoptive Care Coalition. I figured this is as good as any of a time when I can get back into the swing of things. I will post every half an hour with her - limited posts, but hopefully I can catch you all up on what has been going on. In between posts I will also try to get some housework done: dishes, clear table, fold laundry, clean office, straighten bedroom. All of this will be done very quietly, however, because the little one is asleep.

More soon

She is a super duper pooper...

2007-03-10T18:02:00.000-05:00

She did it! Peanut pooped in the potty! This is a major breakthrough. Seriously people. We were beginning to get somewhere with staying dry bit and using the potty to tinkle, but for whatever reason she has been exceedingly reluctant to poop in the pot. So today she was making her grunting sounds and bending over in the kitchen. I whisked her off to the bathroom and she did a tinkle and announced that she was done. Yeah, um, no your not. So I made her sit there and try. She sat for about 15 minute - every 2 minutes or so announcing that she was done. I would ask her if she'd made a poopy and she'd say, mmm, hmmm. But when I checked - nothing. Halfway through this I said I'd give her a sticker if she did it. She seemed excited, but still no results. Then, just as I was beginning to feel cruel for making her sit there so long, she makes another announcement that she's done it. And lo! RESULTS! Thus we danced around, sang the "Super Duper Pooper" song, and distributed stickers.

She may be potty trained before kindergarten after all.

And after a long break...

2007-03-06T17:40:00.000-05:00

I may be back. Peanut is still with us and will likely be with us until mid-summer at least. Potty training is going ever-so-slowly. We've all been in and out of being sick, but just now we are mostly healthy - er, K now reminds me that she has a cold again for the 5th time in as many months since our little Peanut arrived. So much has gone on that I have a hard time even thinking about it, much less writing it out coherently. So I won't. I will just say that K and Peanut are both being very cute as they do yoga together.

And we're off!

2006-12-17T20:51:00.000-05:00

Peanut's hearing was stayed again 'til mid-January. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really angry that she hasn't been given the hearing that should have happened in July. I'm super excited to have her for Christmas - and now we can really plan for it instead of just wondering if we will send what we got her with her somewhere else. And I'm also in need of a Peanut-free vacation. All of that aside though, we've begun the true Christmas prep. The tree is HUGE. I did not pick it. The one I would have picked was tall and distinguished, perhaps on the thin side, but I considered it gallant. K however vetoed that idea, and by the time she came up with one she was satisfied with both Peanut and I had had enough galavanting, so we have a 7 foot round/tall tree. K's dad and I almost didn't get it through the door. We had to buy a new tree stand because ours was inadequate. It is smashed into the corner so that it doesn't take over the entire living room. But it is very festive! And Peanut loves it! She helped put the angel on top and decorated the entire bottom row of branches. Then when the presents came out to be put under it she kept picking them up and declaring that they were, "Mine!"
This will be a good Christmas.

Hearing tomorrow - again.

2006-12-12T18:58:00.000-05:00

So tomorrow it the 72 hour hearing. Again. Yes, in fact, this was supposed to happen, oh say July/Aug. when Peanut was first brought into care. Both K and I have been having a bit of a hard time, and I'm not sure if it's because of the hearing or just being tired/sick or what. While we try to love/nurture/attach to her, we are also trying to prepare for the possibility that she will be leaving us before Christmas. We've done some shopping for her - as have the grandparents, but have not gotten the stocking shopping done because we don't know if she'll be here. If she goes we'll send all presents we've gotten already with her, but we're not going to get the stocking stuff until we know she'll be with us. There's a book called Maybe Days to help kids in foster care cope with all of the maybes that go with it, but I'm sure feeling like it applies to foster parents just as much.

Our little eater.

2006-12-10T19:33:00.000-05:00

We got the timer. Went to the store and picked it out with Peanut. Let it go off a couple of times for practice to let her hear what it would sound like. At dinner we set it on the table and explained that she had until the timer went off to eat as much as she could on her plate and if she ate enough, then she'd get a sticker.

And lo.

She ate. More than half!

And we only sat there for a half an hour!!!

Blood letting and food getting.

2006-12-10T10:54:00.000-05:00

Went to the pediatrician on Wednesday. Peanut has gained a mere half pound. The doc has been concerned by how little she is and that she isn't gaining weight as much as she should, so we had to get blood drawn to rule out any biological reason for not gaining. This has been heroing for us all. Peanut has gone twice before to do this unsuccessfully and she and we have been completely traumatized by it. So finally we went to the pedi unit at the hospital to get the blood drawn, and while it was still completely traumatizing, they got the blood and won't have to do it again! The doc wants us to keep a food journal now, so we've had to get a bit more serious about actual mealtimes so we know just what she's eating. We had gotten away from being so structured in eating because of the power struggle that was happening and, while I think she was actually eating more in the grazing technique where we offered food frequently and in smaller quantities, we weren't really able to keep track of it, so we had stopped the food journal that we were doing when she first came to us. Now with journalling/mealtime reinstated we feel compelled to figure out how to get her to eat more of the meal! The first night was a disaster, ie. power struggle and no food intake. Then the next morning K started something brilliant. Takes A LOT of patience on our part, but we have begun waiting her out. We sit at the table and cheer/bribe/cajole her to eat until at least half of the meal is done. Yesterday we had a two and a half hour breakfast! But she ate half of it! And this morning breakfast was only an hour. But still, we don't necessarily have time for such waiting games on weekdays. We need to buy a timer. One that ticks really loudly. That way she'll either get her sticker or she won't at the end of the time and we can all make it to work/daycare on time.

But she won't eat anything edible.

2006-12-05T20:05:00.000-05:00

When I picked up Peanut today I was greeted with, "Ampy Cadle! Ampy Cadle!" Argh? DP(daycare provider)translated by reminding me that they went to Yankee Candle today and then gave me the candles that Peanut apparently made while there. Sweetie jumps up and down with glee when seeing the candles, so I give them to her to hold as I pack her, her blanket, the extra car seat, her winter boots, and the one remaining mitten from the day's adventure into the car. (Mental note - attach all mittens together with shoestrings from this point forward.) I got the candles from her as I buckled her into the carseat, but then at her request let her hold them for the car ride home. Yeah, not such a good idea. As we are traveling the 4 minutes back to the house she is yammering on about Ampy Cadle and making this new smacky sound. Now she makes new sounds all the time, so I wasn't so much concerned and continued the drive home. (Mental note #2 - if child makes smacky sound be concerned.) At the light I turn around to ask her something - know idea what anymore - to find that she had eaten a sizable chunk out of the middle of the candle! Down to the wick. As well as several other smaller gnaw-marks. I keep my cool. We've only got a minute more until we get home and I can call poison control. Getting her out of the car I hope, but do not find, that she just let the wax shavings fall out of her mouth all over the car - you know, like she does with her breakfast. But no. So we get in the house, and look in her mouth to find wax remnants in her back teeth. Then I call poison control and have to explain that my 2 year old has just ate about a Tablespoon or more of candle wax. The guy, while he didn't believe that she actually consumed it, did let me know that it wasn't harmful to her, but may act as a bit of a laxative. Ok. Well, at least I don't have to worry that she poisoned herself. But, damn, couldn't she have eaten at least as much breakfast or dinner in my presence today as she did candle!

So much for the gym...

2006-12-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

So I arranged with K to pick up Peanut so I could go to the step-aerobics class tonight. The last couple weeks I've brought Peanut with me to Y-Time child watch and that works pretty well - she likes it and I get to work out for a meer $4 babysitting fee. But when we do that we don't get home 'til 6:45pm and that is usually when she is finishing dinner, which isn't great. So anyway, I get home, put on the gym clothes, and am on my way out when K and Peanut walk in. We give greetings and hugs all around and then I say, "See you later," which was met by a quick response by Peanut of, "NO! Mommy Joi stay.... Please." Ah, geez. I will either have to get outta the house before they get home or get some more resolve in going to the gym if I intend on getting myself back in shape! So instead of an hour of jumping and pumping I folded laundry, installed a shelf, and refereed dinner. K is doing story time and I will now have a beer and do dishes. I may do yoga later - but ya know I just have this feeling that it's not quite the same workout - specifically when one take into account the dinner geared towards weight gaining that was served up for Sweetie (can I just say it's adorable to have a two-year-old ask specifically for goat cheese).

Happy Feet!

2006-12-03T22:14:00.000-05:00

Fantastic movie! But I'll get to that in a moment. So we still have Peanut, and will probably have her through the New Year. They have rescheduled the 72 hour hearing (again) for Dec. 13th, so there is a small chance that she'd go before then, but the social worker doubts it will get heard then as they've already got a full schedule that day before they put her case in. In the meantime, we are loving this kid to pieces and giving her just as much as the three of us can handle.Now on to Happy Feet. So last night we were going to go see a play that the sister-in-law is in with Sweetie, and since it didn't start until 8pm and she usually goes to bed at 7:30pm we put her down for a nap in the afternoon and let her sleep for 3 hours! Now, this may or may not seem completely outrageous. As some background, usually doesn't nap at all, so we were trying to get her well-rested for a big night out on the town. The plan was to go to Friendly's and have dinner, then drive the hour to where the play is. But we didn't take into account how long it takes her to eat - and since she was eating (praise the Goddess above!), we certainly weren't going to rush her. So anyways it was 7:30pm by the time we got done and we realized that we wouldn't make it. But what in heaven's name were we going to do with this very awake child?! We'd already talked about a back-up plan of seeing Happy Feet, but hadn't checked the play times, and were dismayed to find that the last local showing was at 7:00pm. Tower Theater had a 9:00pm showing so we piled in the car. Now let me be clear. I would not normally take a 2-year-old to a 9pm showing because a) it's just way too late!, b)the 9pm crowd is much less kid-friendly than a matinee, and c)I don't want to be judged by others who think they know what's best for other people's kids. But what were we going to do? So off we went to her first movie ever wondering if she'd even stay awake for it. We stopped at one of the posters on the way to the Dirty to get some coffee (because, of course, K and I did not have a 3 hr nap) and showed her the penguin and she was so excited. When we got in the theater the screen was still dark and we pointed it out, but she didn't seem to get that that is where she'd see the penguin. Then the preview came on and her little eyes and mouth popped wide open and she says, "Oh, TV! Big TV! HUGE TV!!" We are of course, trying to hush her and encourage inside voice, but it was just too much! She was just so enthralled! I don't think I've seen her that continuously awed ever. So cute! She did calm down so she at least she wasn't being obnoxious by the time the actual movie came on (and certainly not as obnoxious as the girl on her cell phone all the way through the previews), and she stayed awake through the whole thing. I was dually impressed. This morning she slept until 10:30am. We slept, snuggled, e-mailed, sorted the laundry and paid the bills before she stirred - amazing. Though, I'm thinking we should have stirred her earlier, because she is now still stirring in her crib an hour after she was put down. So what do you think, would you have thought we were nuts with a 2 year old at a 9pm show?

Give me strength.

2006-10-14T22:09:00.000-04:00

How will I give this child up when the time comes? Every day we are growing more attached. I've been doing a pretty good job of living in the here and now and only focusing on what she needs right now, which is a loving home with loving parents where she knows she's cared about, but today I couldn't help but think about her growing up and wondering what will become of her. I want as much control over that as possible. I want her to have the loving home she deserves - that any child deserves. I want her to grow up knowing she is strong and can accomplish just what she puts her mind to. I want to know that she will learn values and morals that will teach respect for everyone. But all we can do is give her as much of all of this as we can right now, because we don't know if we'll have her next week, or next month, or next year. Sure, sure, it looks plausible that she'll be with us for at least the next 6 months, but the 1st hearing is next Wednesday, and if the judge, for whatever reason, sides with the parents, she could be removed from us. And then we have our life back - with a great big hole it in where Peanut was. I think that would be the worst case scenario for all - her parents aren't ready to take her back, and if she gets put in a different foster home then that is just bad for her. Or we could have her for the next 6 months, her parent could get their act together, and she could live the life that she was perhaps meant to live. I suppose that would be the best case scenario. And then of course there is the scenario that I am not willing to spent to much time thinking about. The one where she becomes legally free for adoption. Do we want to take that step? Could we not take that step? Aie! She is sleeping peacefully in the other room. We are all finally beginning to feel better. I just checked in on her and she was sleeping in the oddest little position with one leg crossed over the other, but above the knee. All she needed was a piece of straw sticking out of her mouth and she'd a looked like a lazy cowgirl.

And we thought she couldn't count.

2006-10-12T19:08:00.000-04:00

Tonight at the dinner table, I said, "I'm done."

And Peanut said, "Done!", and pushed her plate away.

So I said back to her, "Are you done, too?"

And she said pointed to me, and said, "You done?"
Then pointed to herself and said, "I done two?"
And finally pointed to K and said, " Mommy done three?"

Cuteness gone rampant

2006-10-11T19:00:00.000-04:00

Even though I can barely breathe or hear through this cold of mine, I've got to say that Peanut is the cutest thing this side of the Mississippi. All I wanted to do when I got home was crawl directly into bed, but K and Peanut came home shortly after I did and went out to the car to help bring in the child and all associated gear. Peanut saw me and greeted me with bouncing glee, so I scoop her up and K got the gear. The cute part comes when we enter the house and she says, equally gleefully, "Oh, light on!" and then she saw a pillow, and squeels with delight, "Oh, pillow!" and wiggles down to hug the pillow with her whole self. I just don't get how she can be so gosh darn happy and cute when she's just as sick as we are, but she is and that almost makes getting this sick worth it. Story time now, and then bed.

Alright, alright, alright!

2006-10-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

Now for the update on my newly found momdom. Because Peanut is a foster child, I can't give her real name here, or unfortunately post a picture, but lemme just tell ya, she is as cute as a bug in a rug. And a huge ball of energy. From the moment she gets up she goes. And she just keeps on going all the way until we put her down. And then she sometimes even keeps going. She's like the Energizer bunny! Thankfully until this weekend she was sleeping through the night. I'm hoping that trend will reinstate itself when she starts feeling better, and I hope she starts feeling better soon. And can we not have her bring another germy bug home from daycare?! All three of us have sore throats, congestion, fevers, and coughs. She also has what another blog-mom has coined "assplosions". I'll leave the details of that up to your imagination. Right now I'm getting a couple extra hours in at my old job while K and Peanut are at home - hopefully both sleeping and getting well. I will soon go home and sleep again, ah, blissfull sleep...

Mama

2006-10-04T20:05:00.000-04:00

That would be me. Our happy bliss of newlyweddom has been bombarded by our newly aquired 2-year-old foster daughter. Wow. That's really all I have energy to post right now. Just wow.

More photos

2006-09-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

Here's more from the wedding:

Again, not in order - in fact the photo of the L-O-V-E banners is from the rehearsal - but, hey, at least you can see how wonderful they are! K's sister is the one standing next to the cake - she's the baker, and a lovely and talented one at that. You can see H demonstrating the fantastic dancing that was had. My favorites are the one is us walking off into the rainshine. And the next favorite is us trying to avoid a full out cake war.

It was wonderful, and over way to quickly!

2006-09-12T19:41:00.000-04:00

So, I feel obligated to tell you how it all went down before moving onto our new adventure. Don't worry, that will come soon enough. In the meantime, I think it would be good to revel in the wedding and newlywed bliss for a moment :) Rather than going into long explainations, as I'm tempted to do, I think a bunch of pics will be better.
Apparently, though, I am only allowed to post 5 pictures at a time... So thes are a few snippits, not in order, mind you, but it gives you the gist of the good times. I'm the one with the Tiara, K's the gorgeous blond. And that's my dad I'm dancing with. More to come, but perhaps I'll mix it up with the new happenings - we'll see. For now I need to wrap it up and get off to sleep.

We did it!

2006-09-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

We got married! It was so beautiful, I can not even explain how wonderful it was. Even though it rained, I still can't imagine anything more perfect. K was so beautiful and so many of our friends and family were there. I still get all dreamy-eyed just remembering it.

Right now, though, we are on our honeymoon and I really must get back to K who is up in our room. We were reserved for the cabin - very private and seperate from the main inn, but we switched to a room in the main inn. I must say, we are in the lap of luxury. In-room spa and fireplace. Canapy bed. Season three of the L Word. Life is good. And now I will leave you and get back to it!

My prophesy was true!

2006-08-03T21:42:00.000-04:00

It has been a much better week! While I have worked a total of 7 hours overtime and my week is only half over, I have also received many compliments!!! I love when the tides turn! Today I got a call from an 83 year old woman who just wanted to tell me what a wonderful job I did with getting her husband into a good hospital when he needed it. She is just the cutest little thing. I spent 4 hours after my shift on Tuesday trying to get this guy a placement and it was very challenging, but she was such a joy to talk to - even when I needed to comfort her because he will likely not come home, that I really wanted to do the best that I could. She took my name down and had me spell it out for her, and then said she'd contact my boss to make sure the praises get to the right place!

Later, I was on the phone with the owner of a nursing home and she wanted one of the residents to get a respite bed because the lady was becoming quite aggressive at the home. Well, that doesn't exactly sound like a respite admit to me, but if it really was only that there have been a lot of environmental changes lately, it could work. Still, I wanted to make sure that she got the lady checked out medically, to rule out a UTI - UTI's are one of the main causes for changes in mental status in elderly people - before we go ahead and do a crisis evaluation. Really it's just being thorough (and making sure we don't admit someone psychiatrically when it is really a medical problem), but she called later and left a very long message with a co-worker about what a thorough job I did in making sure that this woman got the right care.

And finally, when I was at the ER tonight at 9pm, after a very long day in trying to find a placement for a woman who'd been there since 11am, I mentioned that I was supposed to have gone home 3 hours ago. So one of the nurses says to me, "you deserve to be paid more!" And I said, "Well, yes, I certainly do!" And then she takes out a Chucks (it's like a diaper except it lays flat on the bed below the person) and writes on it: "Dear J-'s Boss, J- deserves to be paid much more because she works her butt off for us nut-cases in the ER all the time! Much Love, C-- ox" Yeah!!

On my way to a much better week.

2006-07-31T20:40:00.000-04:00

My client did not insult me today. YEAH!!! No really, this is cause for a real celebration! You see not only is she 12 and have quite the propensity for throwing insults (you'd think it was her job), but having the week start without an insult from her surely means that this week will be fantastic. It's gotta be better than last week, when the only day free of being insulted was Friday. Monday it was the above 12 year old. I didn't think much of it, after all she thinks it's her job. Tuesday my other outpatient kid's mother basically called me incompetent. That I remember quite clearly, you see because she didn't come right out and say it, she said that she thought someone a little older that me would be better equipped to help her daughter make progress. See the only progress this mother acknowledges is whether or not her daughter is talking to her. Not that I wouldn't normally see that as progress, but under the circumstances, I'm really thinking that maybe this kid is better off keeping her distance. The woman is rather - well, venomous. And I held that opinion long before the incident on Tuesday. Now I know that the kid is making progress: she hasn't been hospitalized, or cut herself, and her panic attacks have all but vanished since she's been seeing me. But still, I think it would have been easier if she just came out and insulted me instead of trying to make some sort of euphemism out of her degrading comments. Perhaps she thinks me younger than I am (I'm older than her boyfriend, after all), but it took me some time to figure out that she wasn't just noting my supposed youthful appearance. Anyways, Wednesday brought about more joy (said with sarcasm), for I had the pleasure of talking to a classic anti-social personality disordered client on the phone. Midway through the conversation he says to me, "you must be Black." No, normally, this wouldn't phase me, and I certainly wouldn't consider it an insult, but just the tone of his voice told me that it was supposed to be meant as a supreme insult. Now this is a situation where I am not going to either confirm or deny my supposed race to him. It just wouldn't help the situation. He went on to say that he'd never hear of a name like mine on a White woman, so that was his reasoning, and that he didn't have anything against Black people, but they all hated him and besides they all think they are better than him with all of their "Black Power b*llsh*t." That was just the beginning of it, but you get the gist. Now I did question him about his assumptions and blanket statements, but I still felt at ill ease about any effectiveness that I had. Thursday I had a client, who is normally a very sweet guy, do a 180 on me and suddenly start telling me that I was lying to him, that he hoped that I had a stressful life, and that it would be better if I just went away to die. Why the 180? No idea. All I was trying to do was fullfill his request. I told him I just had to verify everything with the supervisor, as I have to do with every client and in every situation, and he went from nice guy to Mr. Insults. Friday. Blessed Friday. No insults from anyone. One paranoid guy who'd gone off his meds, but he was grateful to be seen, even if suspicious of my questions. And then there was Saturday. The icing on the cake of insults. Drunk girl, hurling pejorative words at me. I won't even go into it. I'm glad that week is over. And I'm very glad that this week is going to be a much, much better one!

And then there are calls like this:

2006-07-22T12:41:00.000-04:00

Not even 5 minutes after my last post a call came in and the woman, who sounded drunk, or otherwise impaired, said that she was out of her Ritalin for her Bipolar Disorder (impossible, you don't get prescribed Ritalin for Bipolar, probably med-seeking) and that she couldn't cope without it. I try to get her name and see if she'll come into be seen. She refuses. She tells me that she might as well just kill herself and be done with it. She says she's going to go and hang herself. She hangs up on me. I call the police. They try to trace the call, and think they may know who it is - but it was a cell phone, so she could be anywhere. They are sending a couple cars out. I call the supervisor. He says I did everything I can do.

Just another day at crisis I suppose. You never know what you're going to get.

2006-07-22T10:53:00.000-04:00

It all seems to be going so fast these days. Just over a month to the wedding, and so much yet to do. In one sense time seems to be spinning out of control, and in another it isn't going fast enough.

Work keeps on ticking by. What does it say when other people's crises become run of the mill for you. When you no longer even raise an eyebrow when someone says they want to kill themselves, or someone else, because their children were taken, they were abused, their wife is cheating on them, they lost their, job, house, spouse, etc. In a sense it is good. I can get right down to the matter at hand (how can we help this person), rather than getting caught up in my own shock or dismay, but it also seems that perhaps I am not able to muster the same sense of empathy that I was when I began working here.

It's time for a change. But so many changes are happening now that to instigate any more would be foolish. Yet, wouldn't it be nice to be enlivened by my work, rather than worn down and jaded by it?

2006-05-18T10:16:00.000-04:00

Too much has been going on to post lately. Many people think that the holiday season is the roughest for people to deal with and that it would be the toughested time of year for those of us working on crisis teams. Not so. The "suicide season", as it is sometimes called, starts shortly after the holiday season - oh say February- and just keeps on roaring until who knows when. We have been swamped. And on top of being swamped, we have been understaffed. This has made for a very very busy me. It is not only my blogging that has faltered, but even checking e-mail can be a challenge. That is all for now. I am going to savor this moment of peace while I'm at work and stare blankly out the window...

It's been awhile...

2006-04-06T08:17:00.000-04:00

A lot has gone on in the past couple weeks since I last posted - but I can't really say all that much more. So many things that they all run together. We did go to visit our friends T and A in New Haven and went to the Ikea while we were there. That store is just too much. Too much fun. Too many good deals. Too many people. Too big. And it's layout is in a maze - literally, so that once you get started you have to go all the way through. Visit every department. Which makes for spending too much money. I tell you. There are A LOT of things that I want to get from there. But I fear going back because of what I may spend. We got out with spending under $80 - and I think that was really good. But we hadn't planned on spending anything unless we found a table and chairs we liked. We did find several that we liked, but by the time we got to the place where you pick them up, we were too tired and already had several rugs and random things, so we decided we'll just order it online when we really do have the $250 that they will be. My favorite is the rug we got for the baby room. Yes, yes, I know it's early to be planning all of that seeing as we are not even married yet and we've got no intention of getting pregnant before we are. But we have contacted DSS to be trained for being foster parents. And we will likely be all set for that around June - just short term placements before the wedding. But we'll have to be set up to welcome a little one when that happens. So we have the rug and got a matching stuffed dragon and frog prince to go with it. We also got some hangy basket things for clothes, diapers, etc. No big furniture yet. K wanted to buy this crib we saw, but I had to put the brakes on that - seriously, we won't even have our homestudy for another month or so and if we *need* a crib before we take a kid in, then we'll have a couple months to get one! But I kinda think that if we're not set up with a crib, car seat, etc, that DSS will provide it for us! And right now, we need to just concentrate on getting our wedding together and getting a replacement care for K's totaled one. Yeah, we tried the one-car-family thing and it just isn't working... More on that later.
Peace.

Taxes? DONE.

2006-03-20T21:46:00.000-05:00

I have spent the last 8 hours falling for the H&R Blockhead sceme again. They suckered me out of $60. Again. I swore I would not fall prey last year and ended up paper-filing. Oh, how the memory is lacking as I grow older. By the time I figured out that I'd fallen prey again I had already sunk about 6 hours into it and didn't have the heart to start over with a *truly* free e-filing service.

Just an average day at work...

2006-03-15T22:17:00.000-05:00

As I introduce myself to the client she responds to my hello like this:

Client: By looking around I can see in the ceiling tiles - are giving me hints - little tiny hints, they are all over, there are messages that need to be transmitted (at this point the client grabs her ear, rocks back and forth, and squints her eyes as she apparently tries to listen to the messages being transmitted).

Me: Um, ma'am, how are you feeling today?

Client: Well, I think that Beijing, China is too far to call - it's a secret. I made an error yesterday morning - violated a few secrets - God bless you. God bless everybody. The messages will get transmitted - just trust and with privacy.

Me: Er... Ma'am, do you know why you're here today?

Client: By looking around maybe I can sneak you something that I learned many years before, but privacy is needed. I need to write a necessary clue. They are all over if we just try hard enough. He puts vegetables in his pockets. I'm trained to pass a quiet wink to you - the person who I offended - years ago, I need to gradually get to the point.

Me: Right, of why you are here. Or is there another point?

Client: The greatest thing I ever did was make my second step toward - I need to thank God - Give thanks to a baby, and it's in God's control if my best writing has always been - it may require some privacy - I put a thank-you note to a person who arrived and everything is beginning to fall together. I believe on the way down that - when I wake. I believe under there there's a place I am to put smaller items. If I just write everything down - can't get - I had little miracles. You have to get the clues from the words in the writing. In the ambulance on the way down I was looking all around.

Me: Ok, um, I just have one more question.

Client: I got another hug.

Me: Er, I need to ask you if you feel like you want to hurt yourself or anyone else...

Client: The rest is involved in some hugs - in the writing. Secrets, and clues and clues and hints, but we have to be careful I have to nudge.

Me: Ok, I'll let write what you need to now ok.

Client: I need the privacy. Bless you. Bless you. The star is moving and I know it's her that is in there.

Yeah, then I had to make some sense of what all that meant - aside from being in a psychotic state. I love my job.

Another crazy weekend.

2006-03-13T23:04:00.000-05:00

While it has been Monday for the rest of the world, today was my Sunday. Lots of running around and appointments to take care of. Had to arrange with K about getting to them because of the one car situation, and that meant a lot of waiting around and me getting cranky. Unfortunately I let it get to me more than I would have liked. And, well, I was being an pissant. The little details do keep me in line and on time mostly, but perhaps I was spending an inordinate amount of energy on them. It's just that up until a couple of weeks ago when the car was totaled, I did my thing and she did her thing during the day. And now, neither one of us can do our things without the other being abreast of the situation so we don't double book ourselves. We can make this one car thing work out, but it is taking a long time to get used to. In the meantime, if the universe wants to grant us with another car, well, we are open to receiving it!!! And, no, no, we certainly do not need, or for that matter even want a Ferrari, but a nice reliable vehicle would be nice!

So anyway, while we were in town we had a spat over nothing really. We've both been a little touchy. Well, we pulled up our bootstraps and went to window shop while waiting for the next appointment. Then K got this gleam in her eye, took my hand, and escorted me to get a spur of the moment massage! Oh! How I needed that!! This girl is a keeper. I have been quite content since then.

I'm doing better now :)

2006-03-08T10:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was another rough day, but I continued my strike in the evening and did absolutely nothing until this morning. My back was twitchy yesterday on top of my unfortunate mood, so when I got home I laid down and read, then napped, got up and had crackers and cheese for dinner while watching Law and Order SVU. Crime shows often make me feel better.

This morning I got up and went to the gym. Took it easy so I wouldn't do any disservice to the back. I was still a bit on the cranky side when I arrived, but by the time I left I was doing better. I got two loads of laundry done before work and the dishes put away. I think part of why I was feeling so off the last couple of days was that the house was in a bit of a shambles. K put together a new wardrobe - which is FANTASTIC, but the room that it's in was out of commission and that is the same room where we have to hang the laundry up to dry.

Anyways, while I might be up to my eyeballs in laundry for the next couple of days, I things appear to be looking up.

Frazzled.

2006-03-06T08:22:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling the same way I did when I got home from work Saturday afternoon. Overwhelmed, overworked, and just frazzled. I'm sure the neigbhors music blaring through the ceiling did not help. I went up and told them to please not play that stuff before 9am - ever. She looked shocked that I could hear it. And then she gave me some excuse that there were salespeople knocking on her door and that is why she turned it up - so that they would go away. Um. Likely story. We've never had sales people at our door, much less at 7am. So I came back down, fed the cats (they were very grateful. I love my cats), and just as I'm getting my morning cup of coffee the phone rings - now remember this is still before 8 in the morning. Could I please work the 3-11 shift as they had two call-outs today? What!?! After last week!!! Well thankfully I am getting my eyes dialated this afternoon. I've never been so happy to have my eyes dialated. It is a terribly unpleasant experience. I told him - my boss that is - that I wouldn't be available until at least 8pm because of the dialation and some other appointments. We are going to buy my dress -very exciting. And very important. I also told him that last week really did me in (he was out for the last half of the week) and that it would be really good if he could find some other way to go about covering the shift. He said he would try, but that even 8 to 11 would be helpful if he couldn't. Damn, but I wish they would hire another full time staff.

Ok, I'm in the process of gaining perspective. I have taken a shower. That helps. I talked to a friend. That helps a lot! And she's probably coming over for her lunch break (Yay!!!) I will go meditate now, and perhaps clean up a touch before she comes over.

Some days I just don't want to go back

2006-03-04T18:52:00.000-05:00

To work, that is.

I'm feelin somewhat better now, but earlier today I was feeling like I wanted to throw in the towel completely. I don't even know where to begin. The evals I did this week were just brutal. Not all of them were tragic in the usual kind of way - suicidal people, etc., but I just couldn't leave them at work. Aie! I was dreaming about them! It seemed like they were following me home, 'cuz I just couldn't shake 'em. Breifly. And very briefly because I do need to let this stuff go for the weekend: 4 evals with situations that I couldn't help as much as I felt like I needed to because of bureaucracy within the system, or just not enough resources and funding, 2 of these evals got dragged over a matter of days because I really wanted to help and was looking for alternative ways to do it, and then as if that wasn't enough this morning I got a call from a woman who had already overdosed. You know, just calling to let me know that she'd taken a lethal dose and what was I going to do about it. Hmph. I guess I can usually take calls like that without getting too frazzled, but this just put me over. My usual calm and collected self that I maintain with suicidal clients went out the door. I'm sure I sounded like a crazy woman myself when I was on the line with the police and the ambulance.

I did manage to keep it together pretty much for the rest of the shift, but when I got home I collapsed on the bed and did not move for about an hour. K brought me a Blueberry beer. I cuddled with the cats. I called my mom and dad. We spent the rest of the night at Home Depot getting together some shelving for a project K is working on and went out to dinner. I feel better now. So I'll probably go back. Ok, so I know I'll go back. I've come a long way on this road and I'll just keep on truckin along.

And I'm sure that I'll feel even better after this weekend!

Zzzzzz.

2006-03-03T00:06:00.000-05:00

Boy do I have stories to tell! But not tonight. I've just gotten off of an unplanned 12 hour shift. Lots of stories indeed. I need to sleep now. Am supposed to go to the gym at 6:30am. Hmm. Well, I'll do my best. And I WILL get off on time tomorrow. Planning on taking my girl out to a restaurant she's been wanting to check out for the anniversary.

Be well.

Goodnight.

And then there's what I actually did...

2006-02-27T21:04:00.000-05:00

Right then, so the day was productive, but I did not even start the taxes. Instead I did this:

Blogged, surfed, and chatted for a goodly amount of time over coffee and then a cup of tea. I suppose I do deserve to laze about on my day off for at least some of the time.
Washed K's coat. It was still in the laundry since the airbag incident and she is refusing to wear it - instead opting for a Spring jacket - even though it's barely ZERO outside.
Tidied the living and dining rooms. Certainly can't organize my finances unless my surroundings are organized.
K came home for lunch - Yeah! Chatted and had a bite.
Hung up K's coat and put in new load of laundry. I've got to do something that I said I would today!
Cleaned up the kitchen. Who can do anything before you can see the counter!
Organized desk. Again, how can I possibly know what bills to pay unless I'm organized.
Balanced checkbook. I need to know how much I can pay to who.
Paid bills.
Called Wells Fargo to change address.
Called Verizon to find out that they still don't have my account straightened out to before-move status.
Reformatted bill paying chart. Um, don't ask. It just makes me feel better.
Hung up laundry to dry.
Laid down to rest my achin' back and read an Alice Walker short story.
K returned from work: snuggle, chat, discuss dinner options, eat bread and cheese, took nap.
Made potato Leek Soup and just ate a bowl of it while watching "Medium".
Now I'm off to pack up the rest of the soup for lunches and then to bed :)

2006-02-27T10:35:00.000-05:00

Here I am. Woke up and had breakfast with K, but then she went off to work and my normally very busy and hectic Monday day off finds me sitting here alone. I will get used to this, but I am not used to it yet. One car means that I need to make the usual appointments and shopping for chores that I do on Mondays at other times when the car is available, ie. before work, after work, and usually with K. I always knew I was a very independently minded person, but WoW! I am *really* disliking having to depend on K for getting me to work on time and having to coordinate our schedules so that I can go to appointment or just do mindless stuff. Sometimes very important mindless stuff, mind you, like shopping for our anniversary, which happens to be this Friday. Usually I would just take myself out shopping with some vague ideas of what I want to get for her and end up finding something. But now I really have to put some thought into it. First, I need to know exactly what I want to get her, then I need to know where to get it, and finally, I need to be able to arrange to go and pick it up - without her - without causing suspicion. Eeeek. Think. Think. Think.Eventually, I will learn to enjoy this time home alone. It will allow me to do some of the things around the house that I never seem to have time to do (bills, small repairs, organize file cabinet, plan wedding, paint, etc, etc, etc). I will now go and assess the situation...

Ok. Things to do today:

Wash a load of laundry.
Pay bills.
Clean up random glasses and mess from housewarming yesterday.
Hang load of laundry to dry.
Wash another load of laundry.
Wash dishes.
Wipe down counter and stove.
Clean litter box *uhg*
Spontaneously manifest a clothes dryer in our basement.
Ok, fine, hang laundry to dry.
Motivate myself to do pilates.
Do pilates.
Take a much needed shower.
Call various hotels to see about reserving a block for wedding.
Fix a cup of tea and wait for my honey to come home while reading another short story by Alice Walker.

Or I could:

Pay bills.
Do Taxes.
Continue doing taxes.
Keep trying to figure out damn taxes.
Vent to K when she gets home about those Godforsaken taxes.
Go to the gym with K and work off frustration.
Come home and finish taxes.

Well. The bills and taxes do need to be done. But, wouldn't it be nice to get all that other stuff done...

The Murder of Crows

2006-02-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

So I'm getting off work the other night just as dusk was setting. I parked in the lot across the street so I had a bit of a stroll to get to the car. Now, I must tell you, there is this phenomenon that happens where I work: At dusk about 500 to 1200 crows swarm over the building where I work. The entire sky becomes dotted their swooping back and forth. Now, normally I am awed by this freakish happening, but as I was walking across the open parking lot, I noted the insane number of crows circling above me and became somewhat alarmed (understatement). My first reaction was still, wow, but that was quickly followed by, ut oh!

The sheer panic that I felt as my ears tuned into the very distinct SPLAT!...SPLAT!...SPLAT! splat! SPLAT! splatSPLat!splAT! AAAAAGH!!! Ok, just what do you do when you are targeted to be bird-bombed by 500+ crows!!! Which way does one go!!!?!?! What do you do?!?!?! Run? Dance? Freeze? I couldn't exactly duck for cover in an open parking lot! I held my breath (as if that would do any good) and ran to the car with my shoulders up by my ears - you know just in case one got me, then at least I wouldn't have to feel it in my ear!!

Somehow I made it through without being unpleasantly splattered, but the car I'm borrowing for the week was not so lucky. It has been riddled with brightly colored bird bullets. I think it will live. But if it dies in my care, I will blame the murder of crows. You know that's what they call it - not a flock, not a gaggle, but a murder.

I saw a post on a message board, by thenostromo, that also cited James Lipton's "An Exaltation of Larks" as devoted to the numerous appellations for a grouping of animals, many of which originated as hunters' terms and have been in the language for centuries. Here's a gleaning from his book:
A covey of partridges
A murder of crows
A rafter of turkeys
A brood of hens
A fall of woodcocks
A dule of doves
A wedge of swans
A party of jays
A company of parrots
A colony of penguins
A cover of coots
A sord of mallards
A dissimulation of birds
A peep of chickens
A pitying of turtledoves
A paddling of ducks [on the water]
A siege of herons
A charm of finches
A skein of geese [in flight]
A tidings of magpies
A cast of hawks
A deceit of lapwings
An ostentation of peacocks
A bouquet of pheasants
A congregation of plovers
An unkindness of ravens
A building of rooks
A host of sparrows
A descent of woodpeckers
A mustering of storks
A flight of swallows
A watch of nightingales
A murmuration of starlings
A spring of teal
A parliament of owls
An exaltation of larks

Oh tired tired tired.

2006-02-20T00:25:00.000-05:00

Almost to bed, but a quick note before I go. After the whole dillema of how we are getting the invites, etc. out, we are making them ourselves afterall. The high prices I had figured out for making them were based on some very expensive paper we had found. We - well, K - ended up finding a much better deal, so she bought all of the supplies we would need yesterday. I was still cringing today because I didn't think it would really save us that much money and we are rather short on time these days. But after breaking through our little miscommunication K let me in on the secret that everything she bought only cost $25!!! That is great! Her parents let us use their very nice printer, and we were able to borrow a paper cutter, so really it is a much better deal to go the way we are now. And guess what - I think I'm going to like them a lot! I get to have my eyelets/rivets/gromits or whatever you want to call them and she gets to have her velum. We compromised and took some new pictures, so we are both more pleased than we were with the original one. They will look good. I will go to sleep now because I have plenty of gromit pounding to do tomorrow.

Wow!

2006-02-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

I am so impressed with myself right now. It is before 9am and I have been to the gym, showered, dressed, put away the drainer of dishes, put away the laundry, started another load and I am now enjoying a cup of coffee while I post. I'm usually just rolling out of bed by now, but I started a very early morning aerobics/lifting class. I was debating dropping it because, well, it is at the ungodly hour of 6:30am, which of course means I've got to be up at 6am. And that, my friend, is earlier than I have been accustomed to since the insanity days of crew. Lately I've gotten quite comfortable rolling out of bed at 8:30 or 9am, which still gives me a good hour before I have to be at work, but Wow! I've gotten so much done this morning and if feels good to be accomplished this early in the day. I will also keep that class because now with being a one-car family, I'd like to make sure that I do actually get to the gym at least the three times a week that the class is scheduled.

Last night K and I actually went to the gym together! Getting myself to the gym is one thing, but getting K to go to the gym, well, that is miraculous! Afterwards, she took me to the pub for burgers and beer. That was something - both of us still sweaty, in our gym clothes, and just at tad self conscious about being in public with our appearance as such - but it was delicious, and it was a lovely Valentine's Day dinner because it was all about us!

Toxic Update

2006-02-12T18:36:00.000-05:00

"Everyone has their impression of the big comfy pillow. Then this air bag comes out and whacks them in the face." ~ Alan German, chief of accident investigations at Transport Canada, from this article.

Long story short: It wasn't me who got in the car accident, but K. She is mostly fine - I mean no blood or hospitals were involved, but the air bag went off and from it she has a chemical burn on her lip, a rash on her cheeks and chin, as well as a bruise on her chin. Her nose got it pretty good too, but no bruise there, just very tender. K was very freaked out about all the smoke and dust that came out of the air bag after it popped - she likened it to breathing Napalm. When she tried to catch her breath after it happened she couldn't breathe and started sputtering and coughing because of all the stuff in the air.

With all of these symptoms, I did a little research. When I first looked into it everything I found seemed to be telling me that there was nothing to worry about, nothing but cornstarch, completely safe. K was skeptical. The stuff was not white, but black. Ever heard of black cornstarch? Yeah, me either. Then I found a government website on how rescue workers should handle deployed air bags ("Wearing gloves and eye protection -Keeping the dust away from the patient's eyes and wounds -Removing gloves and washing hands after exposure to the dust") because there could be sodium hydroxide present. And that, my friends, is otherwise known as LYE. You know, that toxic substance known to cause chemical burns, blindness, and such. In my line of work, people who have tried to kill themselve with the stuff usually end up jumping off bridges because it's just too painful. For a breakdown of what exactly this stuff does check The Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry. Hmmm, so much for completely harmless.

It wasn't her fault - the accident. The other woman pulled out in front of her and ended up getting a citation for something like obstruction of throughway traffic. So in the very likely scenario that K's car will be totaled (at more than a thousand bucks a pop - pun intended - the cost of replacing the two air bags will be more than what the Blue Book value is, and that's not including front end damage), she may at least get a sizable check, if not enough to replace the car. And because she was on the job when it happened either the insurance or workman's comp will likely pay for the chiropractor that she may need with her back now more sore than it's been in quite awhile. Meanwhile, we will have to do some very fancy footwork to get us both to our various appointments on time this week. Having a one car family takes advance notice for coordination of schedules, so this week's appointments will either be rescheduled or take a great effort to get to, and hopefully not missed or late .

Did you know that airbags are filled with toxic dust?

2006-02-10T23:40:00.000-05:00

Yeah, well I didn't either until today... We may have just been reduced to a one car family.

More to come on this topic when not so tired/worn out/tight on time.

Ever want to be on ER?

2006-02-09T17:23:00.000-05:00

Usually work is work, and even though I spent much of my time in the ER it is very unlike the show. Today, however, work today was a bit excessive. I only saw one client myself, but the ER was at full capacity, with five of the clients being there for mental health reasons. Yes folks, it was once again one of those days when we had more clients than we have clinicians, but this time the ER staff was breathing down our necks because they were full with medical situations - no, no, no big drama like gunshot wounds or cardiac arrests today, but you wouldn't know it with the urgency that the nursing staff and doctors were bustling about and telling us to"This woman needs to get upstairs right now! We just don't have room for her down here." I remained calm though. That's my job after all, isn't it? To stay calm in the midst of chaos. So I tell the woman, "When I've had a chance to read the chart, I will evaluate her and only then can I make the determination if she is appropriate to go upstairs [this is the psych ward by the way]. If she is appropriate, I will do my best to get her a placement as quickly as I can. A pre-approval has already been made if she is appropriate, but even then the evaluation [ten pages] still needs to be typed up before they will actually take her upstairs as you know." The woman - I believe she was the charge nurse - looked at me scornfully and muttered that "If we don't clear some of these bays we're going to have to go into diversion!" She then turned to get on someone else's case.

You know, there is only so much I can do. I'm going to be as calm as I can in the process, but when people are yelling at me to do my job faster than I am capable - or for that matter, tell me to bypass what my responsibilities are, well it gets me a little irritated. And I guess that's still where I am. More tired than irritated really, but tired never helps irritated. It is now several hours after the incident, but I am still just beat from it. The client, by the way, did go upstairs. And I'm fairly proud to say that she was out of the over-packed ER within the hour - record time with someone who needs hospitalization.

Once again, a demonstration of our Prez's capabilities...

2006-02-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

Do check out Ardist's comment on the Prez and the Post It.

Trying to avoid becoming a candidate for such an ad:

2006-02-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in awhile because work has been a little to hectic and at home we've been trying to figure out Save the Dates and other wedding planning.

THIS VERY DETAILED SECTION IS FOR MOM (others are welcome to read, all are welcome to respond)
We had planned on making our Save the Dates and Invitations, but I'm not sure that will actually save us money. We went to a craft store last night and came up with a lovely combination of papers to make them all, but each sheet of paper is between 79 and 99 cents (um, how so you get the cent sign?). That is probably fine when considering the Save the Dates because we would be able to get three notes out per sheet of paper (the actual size would be 1/6th of a sheet, but we really like the translucent vellum overlay, so it would really equal 6 notes per 2 sheets, ie, 3 notes per card - wow, I guess I can get a little technical at times). Anyway, anyway, by the time we add it up, what with the paper, grommitty eyelet thingies, ribbon, envelopes, inevitable printer cartridge replacements, and TIME, well $425 isn't looking that bad for the invites I saw through David's. Now we this isn't what we had in mind, and will probably go through our good friend of ours who has just started up a printing business, but this at least give us an idea of how much it will cost - and that is with the Save the Dates, the Invitations w/inner and outer envelopes, Response Cards w/envelopes, a Reception Card, and a Details card. When I go back to making our own, without the cost of the ribbon, eyelets, or TIME and SANITY, and making a very conservative estimate on how much paper we would need, it comes out to - OH! $430!! Anyways, we will be giving Rachel a call shortly and seeing what she can do for us.

BACK TO THE REGULAR VIEWING AUDIENCE
Invitations aside, we did pin down our photographer. Drove all the way out to Wrentham and met him today. He is so nice, but most importantly, he does FANTASTIC work, and we could really tell that he cares about making the event as stress-free as possible. Also, he sets up a website that all of our guest can access and order their own prints, and where we can design our album if we find some way to - hopefully - afford to get an album! I also sent out an e-mail to the woman we want to be our officiant. She has been very outspoken about supporting gays and lesbians in our right to marriage, and has even written an article on the subject. If you have any questions about why we'd want the right to marry - thank God we live in the one state that recognizes us - the article is a quick and informative read.

Even with getting all of this done we are WAY behind schedule! Reception site, florist, list for maids of honor, hotel rooms, save the dates, ordering my gown, figure out where we'll do our hair, and register.... that is so not all of what we need to do RIGHT NOW!!! Aaaaaagh!

Our Landlords are Rockstars.

2006-02-02T08:22:00.000-05:00

Five days ago I posted about how we live in a house of noise and that I was completely fed up with the banging and clanging of pipes and my absolute frustration at not getting a proper night's sleep because of it. Three days ago I send our rent check off with a note telling them about the pipes. And just two days later, yes folks, One Day ago, that's only a day's response time when you account for mail delivery, the landlords send over a heating repair guy who fixed the pipes!!! I have never had a landlord respond so quickly to a problem unless said problem was going to directly cost them money or damage to human life! And then, then, they called us later in the evening to thank us for telling them about the problem so they could fix it! Not only that, but they said to take some money off of our next rent check for putting in a door closer that I picked up - even though I stupidly lost the receipt! This almost makes up for not having closet!

Too crazy a day.

2006-01-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

Yeah, by the time I got home (even though it is now only minutes away), went over to feed the animals (pet sitting while K's parents are away), and had something to eat I crashed. Couldn't possible withstand more heartbreak in one day between Alito getting confirmed, Coretta Scott King dying, and someone else going postal and going on a killing spree, I just don't have the heart to hear the inevitable lies, half-truths, and rosy outlooks that will be presented in the State of the Union. I napped instead and now I feel less exhausted, but more sore. I'm really surprised how much pilates makes a girl's muscles work! Just two mornings and I'm sore like I ache like I'm on the crew team again!

One Crazy Kind of Day

2006-01-31T18:03:00.000-05:00

At work - wanted to update earlier - what a joke. We consider ourselves busy when we have every person doing an evaluation. Today we had two people working and seven evaluations. I am simply amazed that I am leaving on time. Tonight K, myself, and friends will convene in front of the television to watch the State of the Union, heckle, and craft. Perhaps the heckling will alleviate the depression that I'm trying to ward off re: Alito. Then again, watching Baby Bush play leader may make it worse...

please work...

2006-01-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

While I'm able to sign in and type this post up, I have no idea if it will actually post to my blog - for my blog seems to have disappeared somehow. No one can access it. And I'm not even able to view it except by single entries. Very discouraging. I'm hoping against hopes that by posting this it will somehow republish the whole thing and my answers will be solve. In the meantime, if it doesn't work, I have written a note to the kind techies at Blogger.

Edit: It worked!!! Yeah! [ok, now keep working, and don't do that again!]

I found my dress!

2006-01-30T12:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we went to look for bridal gowns for me. I had several that I wanted to look at so we had a grand-trying-on-fest! The first one that I tried on turned out to be it! At first I wasn't even going to try it on because the idea I had was that K would wear the froofy wedding gown and I would wear a coordinating, elegant, but definately un-froofy dress. So because the bottom is much more full than I had envisioned, I was just going to try it on to appease K. Turns out, though, that I absolutely LOVE it! The side bow thingy will definately be taken care of and be replaced by a plain sash around the waist, and I'm getting a wrap in the same material that I can wear over my shoulders if I want, but otherwise this is it!

The picture is a little dark, so you can't see the whole thing, but Oh! how I love it. I did try on many other dresses yesterday - and in the past couple of months, and some were ok and I could have lived with them, but when I tried this on I felt like an absolute queen! It coordinates nicely with K's dress too so we will look just fantastic! I wish these pictures were taken in the same light so you could see just how wonderful they will be together, but I'll trust you'll use your imagination. I've got many a errand to do now for the rest of this day off, so I'm off.

At the request of Ardist

2006-01-29T10:29:00.000-05:00

So Ardist requested that I post some of my paintings since I was mentioning it the other day. Most of my work remains tucked away in the back of the closet where they were put after we moved, but these are the results of my most recent endeavors, since the new year when we moved in.
My favorite of these three is the one that I call Feather-Light (top), but it is just a shade lighter in actuality. I had another that I intended to post, but somehow lost the image when I saved it as a draft (at the in-law types currently). I'm not especially happy with the focus on the blue one (bottom). More to come later, I'm sure. I love this stuff. I never know what I'm going to come up with when I start a painting, which I think is why I come up with so many different styles.

P.S. I still find it frustrating that some of the glitches in Blogger do not allow for a) seeing what your post will actually look like when you go to publish, and b) that it leaves great blank spaces (such as above) that could be used much more efficiently.

The house of noise.

2006-01-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

Oh how I long for peace and quiet. I want to live in the woods - away from traffic, noisy neighbors, and barking dogs. These are all inconveniences that have become apparent since moving to our new pad. I'm sure all of this will urge us into the buying market sooner than later, but we can deal with them. I'm beginning to tune out the traffic and dogs, the neigbors - as you will see, are a challenge - but all of that is livable, right now the real problem is the banging and clanging pipes.

We're still looking for ways to deal with the noisy neighbors. At 4 in the afternoon when their music reaches earsplitting levels we have left numerous times and on occasion we employ what I like to call the "1812 Technique": The use of the 1812 Overture at top volume to compete with the sounds of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll". K's parents gave us the idea, and we don't actually have that particular piece of music, but we do have the William Tell Overture, and it seemed to do the trick. At 7am, however, I don't want to hear any music that will rattle the walls, regardless of its level of classical greatness. So when, three mornings ago, we were awakened by a very rendition of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" (this must be their favorite song) resulting in the vibrations of our walls and bed, I had no choice but to drag myself out of bed and sleepily knock on their door - numerous times before they actually heard me through the music. Each time I knocked I tried to calm myself, because, of course, by now I was more than a little testy having my sound sleep interrupted. Finally after the third knock, I hear, in a loud, angry, and demanding voice, "WHO!?!" Remain calm, I tell myself, "Your neighbors," I say as pleasantly as I can. They of course don't hear me because I am not screaming above the music, so I then hear, "WHO IS IT!?!" I must say that by now I am not feeling very calm, and I want to scream Well, who do you think it is at 7am when your music is on that loud!?! I am not nasty, however, and I repeat myself with enough oomph to have myself heard over their noise. I'm not sure if the woman actually heard me because she opened the door with a snarled, "What!" I, as politely as I could muster, requested that she please turn the bass off or the music down or something. I then, in an effort to remain in good relations, said I thought photo of her dog that decorates her door was cute, and staggered back downstairs, to put my head under the pillows against the low roar of her ever-playing favorite song.

All of that is annoying, but the problem in the past tow days has been the banging pipes. Since we moved in the pipes that feed the radiators, which of course give us heat, have made their presence known. At first I thought it was funny. At first they sounded much like a impolite belching contest. At first we could sleep through it. All the At firsts, however have changed. I no longer think it's funny. The belching contest has turned into a pot and barrel banging contest. And I can no longer sleep through it. Something has got to be done. Pillows don't work against the cacophony that seems to get worse in the night. The last two mornings I have woken up with a splitting headache. Aside from the headaches, it is also more than a little unsettling. They shake when they bang you know. The pressure builds up in there, they start to hiss, and finally the banging happens when the water finally pushes through (or however it works) resulting in thunderous banging and shaking. I've gone on the internet and found out that the pipes need to be bled. He he. Whomever came up with that term is a funny one. I'd like to strangle them myself, but hey, if making them bleed stops the noise I'm all for it!

much to do

2006-01-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

There is indeed way too much to do. Just can't seem to get motivated to do any of it at the moment. I'd much rather paint. I set up a new canvas and will likely roll up my sleeves once I post this. Tomorrow, or over the weekend, or at least before we have our house warming I need to rearrange the office/dining room area. It is driving my batty. Very bad feng shui at the moment. I really don't know that much about feng shui - K is the expert on that - but I can just feel it. Way too boxy. And my back it towards the room when I sit here at the computer AND when I eat at the table. This makes for less time at the computer, and it also makes for more time eating on the couch. I also want to rearrange the bedroom. I'm just not happy having to crawl over K or the end of the bed should nature call in the wee hours of the morning. The spare room definitely needs to be attended to as well. Even if we did have enough money to buy a wardrobe, we don't yet have a place for it at all. Perhaps if the bedroom is rearranged we can squEEze it in there, and my idea is actually to fashion a sort of hallway, which would also serve as sectioning off for the office (very confusing to try to explain without a visual), but K has pretty much vetoed me on that anyway - I have not given up yet, but the only other place there is to put the wardrobe - did I mention how desperately we need one - is the spare bedroom, but right now it is quite occupied and quite full with boxes in need of unpacking. I also have several boxes in the office area that need sorting, I need to update our address with a myriad of people and companies, and last, but certainly not least, we desperately need to get on to some serious wedding planning! But really - all I want to do is paint. And so I am off to do it.

Back again!

2006-01-21T10:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, it's been awhile. Between the holidays, moving and being sick I just haven't had energy left to post. I'm finally beginning to feel fully human again. While I was sick I got myself quite enthralled in a mystery novel for a time there and spent every waking hour with my nose in its pages ("With No One As Witness" by Elizabeth George). I tell ya, I thought I couldn't live without my well-rounded addiction to crime shows, but with that book I didn't even miss the tellie. Did I mention that we get practically zero reception. Two channels come in quite fuzzy, but it's hardly worth the effort. Last night K and I watched a couple of episodes of X-Files on tape. We've got two or three more tapes left and then we will have to move on to something else. My vote is for getting season one of either "Six Feet Under" or "Monk". I've heard they are both good - any other suggestions? Not having easy access to the tellie also allows me to do things like continue unpacking, paying bills on time, and fixing the futon (which I did finally after it had been broken for close to a year!). I may install a doorbell this afternoon. But laundry should probably take precedence. Then this evening I'll take my baby out for a proper date. We haven't done that in awhile and it's time to ameliorate the situation.

Christmas Eve

2005-12-24T17:36:00.000-05:00

And so. It has been some time, I know, I know. Since my last post much has happened, which is mostly why I haven't posted. So busy! I landed a job - FINALLY! Doing crisis work. Not what I want to do in the long term, but I am so greatful to have a job, and a salaried job at that, that - well, life is just good. I've left K with her family for the evening while I'm at work. I'll meet up with her in the wee hours of the morning and spend Christmas Day with K's entire family clan. Hopefully the evening will continue to be quiet and I will get out of here on time - so for anyone who happens to live in Western Massachusetts, let's not have any Crises tonight, we'll all be much happier.

So far I've only gotten two phone calls from the same woman tonight: in the first one she told me how upset she was about a Christmas letter she gets every year; the second one she read me the sarcastic and bitter response that she was in the process of writing and asked my opinion. I explained that while hearing from someone only once a year can be frustrating, I'm sure that the letter is sent with good intentions, and that to send a bitter response would really only sour their feelings towards her, and finally, if she really knows that reading the letter is painful for her, maybe next year she should just be greatful that the sender thought of her and leave it unopened. Op. The third phone call just came in: the guy has to miss Christmas Eve dinner because he has been having pain in his belly and the doctor ordered some blood tests for him this evening to rule out problems with his Gall Bladder or Pancreas. Listened for awhile and wished him luck with the testing. He's a regular. The other lady is too.

In other news. We are moving on Jan. 1st. Actually on Dec. 31st, so we can be out on Jan 1st. We have a grand total of 4 boxes packed. Actually, it might be better to say 2 boxes because K had to open up the other 2 to lend some books about unfriendly family members re: being gay to a friend. [Poor girl. She came out to her parents over Thanksgiving and they have gone completely mad: stalking her, researching personal info on her friends, calling her girlfriend, etc. Supposedly they are planning some sort of grand intervention to make her straight over Christmas. They have already offered her $50,000 plus full tuition to grad school if she would just move back home and stop being gay. She of course refused to do any such thing. It could get ugly.] Anyway, we've got a lot to do in the next week. I've got tomorrow off, but I exchanged Saturday, when I'm normally scheduled, for Monday - sounded good at the time, but now that I think about it... well, I'm feeling a little stressed to say the least. Maybe if we have coverage, I'll be able to take Wednesday or Thursday. That would help a lot.

Mmmm, stomach is growling. I suppose I could eat dinner. I made chicken piccata the other day and have left overs. I will do it. Hope all is well with everyone and you are having the kind of holiday you hoped for. And Dad, on the off chance that you're checking this while you're on vacation, Happy Holidays to everyone in Oregon!

The media and Katrina

2005-09-01T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm having a problem with the media. Ok, so that in itself is not new, but as I watch coverage about Katrina I'm just bothered. Last night on the news one of the reports said that it's hard to believe such destruction could happen in America. Ok, what's wrong with that? Have we Americans become so conceited as to believe that we will not be affected by the life on Earth? Did we think we were so invincible? We certainly thought that we were invincible to being the target of large scale attacks until 9/11. And when it did happen, do we begin to understand that we are not so high and mighty, or do we go and attack a relatively unrelated country? Oh, yes, the powerful America will not be insulted. Well who are we going to attack now? There is no one to blame - well, unless we blame ourselves for abusing Mother Earth - who will naturally strike back.

One weather guy said that Katrina was so devastating because of the rise in temperature of the ocean waters - just like when the Tsunami hit. But you didn't hear anything global warming or about needing to curtail our abuse to the environment from the media. And our government only added insult to injury by refusing to sign the Kyoto Agreement. Their reason: because it might damage our economy. So because we like our SUVs and materialistic ways, we'll just keep on our little trend until something really big happens and we're forced to pay attention. Well is this big enough? How's our economy now? Yet, I'd venture to say that we won't hear anything about global warming in the aftermath of Katrina either.

So that's pissing me off. And another thing that is pissing me off is the way the media people who are down there are not helping. They are reporting on all of the damage. Great footage of people stranded, hurt, hungry, and thirsty. Even great footage of plenty of rescues. But are they helping??? They have boats. They have water. They all look neat and tidy for their cameras as they coast on by person after person screaming, begging, and pleading for someone to help them. They have the resources to help, but do they? I only saw one clip of a camera man give in and help once, but only with the comment, "We're not supposed to let anyone on the boat." What are they afraid it will upset their producers if they join in the effort instead of just filming it. Dammit they have the resources, so why aren't they chipping in? What that wouldn't make as good of a story?

Back when Des Moines was flooded our local TV station in Minneapolis organized a help effort and sent bus loads of us down to help with the clean-up. The people of Des Moines got much needed help, I felt good that I could help, and it made for a great story.

feeling compelled to do something

2005-08-31T23:13:00.000-04:00

I called the Red Cross today and filled out their volunteer form. I figure as long as I have so few obligations now, I might as well be put to use in some productive way. And besides, it's hard to watch the news and not be able to contribute any money. This way maybe I can help out in some way. I just started to feel like it was all too overwhelming and maybe the reason I haven't found a job yet is because I need to help out down there for awhile first. Well, we'll see.

Pie for breakfast!

2005-07-25T21:47:00.000-04:00

Why do I do it? Yes, I know the invitations are all well-meaning and, really, I love going to parties - but why would I agree to go to THREE of them in one weekend. Oh, but I just couldn't say no! Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and finally Sunday evening! And all pot-lucks. But, alas, I came up with a fantastic solution. Last weekend our talented musical friend brought us blueberry picking and it was just delightful. So, after securing the recipe for my very favorite blueberry pie from Mom, I headed off on Friday morning for another round of blueberry picking. Two hours and ten pounds of blueberries later I was on my way back home for the baking. Well, it's not baking really, but by 2pm I had three pies ready to go. When K got home and inquired where our pie was I whipped up another just for us - by that time I was a pro! They turned out to be a grand hit! And by the time the weekend was over I had the recipe memorized so it could be shared. So, if you want to try the best blueberry pie ever here it is:

Mom's Most Wonderful Blueberry Pie Ever!
One open-faced baked 9 inch pie crust.
4 cups fresh blueberries
1/2 cup honey
2 1/2 Tablespoons of cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon of salt
2 Tablespoons of butter (optional for richness)

Simmer 1/2 the blueberries, the honey, cornstarch, and salt until the mixture becomes thick and translucent. If your going the rich route add the butter to the blue-goo mix. Then fold in the rest of the fresh blueberries. Now put the entire thing into the already-baked pie crust. Refriderate until cool and bring to a pot-luck or enjoy for breakfast, lunch, or dinner!

So it was a hit! And because I made that extra pie we did have blueberry pie for breakfast! And hey, why not?!? After all, it's more nutritious than any breakfast cereal you'll find out there!

Lazy day ideas

2005-07-14T09:51:00.000-04:00

While it may be a bit early in the day to proclaim it, I would very much enjoy having at least one lazy day during my week off. I hope that today will fit the bill. Yesterday Kate and I went to Boston to meet up with friends and bum around. It was great seeing people and seeing parts of Boston that I've never been to - which, really, is most of Boston. Oh, but it was exhausting though! We must have walked 10 miles through the day. We did, however, meet up with a high school friend for a fantastic dinner at Panang - Malaysian food, yum! In the end we did get home before midnight and fell into a blissful slumber. For myself, I was actually quite surprised I could sleep at all. After the full day of walking and being generally zapped of all energy, Lucinda made me a HUGE cup of coffee so we could make it home in one piece. Woke me right up, all the way home, but once home and that pillow was in sight, well, it was all over really.

In other news. We've been thinking about our wedding and K's been especially into dress shopping. At first we thought we were going to go the more casual route and we would both were non-traditional dresses of different colors. Then as we started planning other aspects of the big day, we decided we want it to be a little more formal, so we thought two traditional dresses. But it's funny, since we decided that, my inspiration to look for a gown for myself diminished greatly. As someone recently said, it's hard to picture two brides in full traditional regalia walking down the aisle. Of course, when I heard this, I said we can do anything we want to - after all there are no standards for lesbian weddings, so we get to make our own rules - and if we want to both wear traditional gown, we'll both wear traditional gown. And I stand by that. But, the thing is, I just can't picture us both in a traditional gowns. Neither can I picture myself wearing a tux. I mean, I've dressed up for Halloween the past couple years in a tux and top hat, and I must say that I do look rather dapper and it was loads of fun:

But honestly.

This is me playing dress-up.

I'm not really butch.

I like dresses.

And I don't want to make light of our commitment.

So. I think we've decided on an interesting solution. K actually came up with it. She really wants to wear the traditional gown, so she will do that. And to create a balance, I'll wear a formal black gown. Not poofy, but sleek and elegant - preferably satin. I've found a couple designs that I like, but nothing perfect yet. So what do you think???

Before the day passes by me

2005-07-10T11:52:00.000-04:00

It is now the second day in a week free from classes. Aaaaah. Yesterday, I began to sort out the mess that has become our apartment over the last five weeks. Slowly but surely, I am beginning to see the tops of various dressers, desks, filing cabinets, and other surfaces. It is amazing how quickly they become cluttered. In the midst of the clutter, I began to organize (because finding clean surfaces is definitely different that organizing!). Oh, it feels sooo good! With all this learning in the past five weeks, my brain has gotten a little cluttered itself, and this organizing bit has begun to help it get back to its normally anal-retentive self. Now, things to do today: shower, it's noon and I've only really lazed about thus far; take a long walk on the trails and splash around in the river; finish updating my resume; maybe watch K-Pax, maybe organize some more, maybe just go to bed early...

The frustrations of beginnings

2005-07-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

So I want to get this up and going, but the thing is I can't figure it out. Like for instance, how do I change the header that I put up there at the top??? How do I post photos without losing my message? I have spent yet another hour with the logisitics of this thing. Perhaps I will find these things out sooner than later, most likely when I am not quite so brain-tired, and when I do it will surely be more representative of me :) With that, good night. For real this time.

Post One - And we're off...

2005-07-06T10:57:00.000-04:00

So last night I sat down to post a reply on River-Tree Whispers. Little did I know that in order to do that one must have a blog of there own. So without really trying, I set this up. If the universe would have given me just a touch more time, I would have begun this journey in, oh, say September - when I will have graduated and found gainful employment. But there must be some reason for this happening now. Life has a way of pushing me along where I need to go, even if I don't quite know I need to go there. I will learn all sorts of things on this blog, I'm sure. Much about myself, computers, and hopefully with any luck, I will learn about other people as well. So, I'll end for the moment. I've got to be rested for my last day of classes tomorrow morning. Mind you I start up again in a week, but small accomplishments mean everything sometimes.