11:30pm - post in support of Baggage

Finished cleaning fridge, scrubbed sink, gave up on housework. Surfed to pointless ends on net. Too tired to do this. Brain not working. Will do one more post at the witching hour. Then I'm off to Z-Land.

11:00pm - in support of Baggage

Put away laundry, set out laundry to do tomorrow, began to clean out fridge, stocked fridge with Pediasure, put on music so I do not fall asleep.

My eyelids are feeling droopy, but I will keep this up. It is a good way to do things. I may even try it randomly when I have a lot of things that I don't want to do to get done. Did you follow that. I wish I could vacuum, but I fear if I did that Peanut would wake up and that would not be cool. Say, have you seen the ad for Bee Movie. I'm going to go see that. Perhaps without Peanut. It looks fun. Boy I wish I had people commenting or asking me questions. Can you tell that I'm searching for things to say?

One of my favorite recordings: Peanut chanting over and over, at the top of her lungs, "Impeach Bush, Impeach Bush, Impeach Buuuuush!" Ahhh, we have a little social worker in the making!

10:30pm - in support of Baggage

Laundry folded. Mom called, so I was on the phone mostly.

It's funny, so much is going on that I don't even know where to begin. I mean, I told you about Peanut leaving and about the house, and they really take up a lot of space in our world right now, but beyond that where do I begin...

Peanut and I tried to go see Ratatouille today. She did well the 1st half. Then had to go to the bathroom and then wanted popcorn and a hot dog. I got these things for her, but then she didn't want to go back in. Then when I persuaded her to go back in she wouldn't eat the stuff I got her - grrr. Worse than that, she was talking very loudly and boucing on her chair, which was in severe need of some WD-40. I shushed her and took her out of the theater to tell her that she needed to be quiet or we'd have to leave. She agreed and we went back in. She continued her antics. I shushed her again. She let out a high pitched scream that only small children know how to do. I picked her up and we left, with her screaming the whole way. The popcorn got left in the theater. Waste. I think I may go to see the moving on my own tomorrow.

Now, maybe I'll get some things done before I post again.

10:00pm - in support of Baggage

Ok, I did the dishes, wiped down the counter, and put cleaner on the kitchen sink to sit and bleach itself white. Have added cleaner and dryer sheets to the grocery list. Put AC on because I am getting overheated.

The other big news is that we put in an offer on a house! This is huge. HUGE! We love it and I think it will work quite well for doing foster care. In fact, I think we will need to construct a barracaid againt DSS until we are able to take in kids. We're going to take some recovery/put-things-in-perspective time. There is probably enough space for 5 children. We will not do this. Peanut had us at our wits end at times. I say tops is 3, and only one to start out with - let's ease into things here. But K wants more. They say after 2 it's all the same. I wonder if that's true...

Ok, this is short, but I am bent on getting some housework done - and keeping up with how Baggage is doing.

I know you can do it!

9:30pm post

Ok, I'm back. Cleaned table off, made bed and brought clean laundrey out to couch, discovered that we need dryer sheets before any more laundry is done, straightened toy area.

The big news since I last blogged is that Peanut is leaving in September. This is a heartbreaker. But I do have high hopes that it will work out. She has grown up so much in the 9 months that we've had her, it is undescribable. She is now potty trained 95% of the time. She eats. And because she eats, she grows. She has just gone threw (sp?) a major growth spurt and has now outgrown most of her 2T cloths and some of her 3T clothes. She needs all new shoes - all of a sudden - because her toes have popped out the end of her sandals!

More big news it a bit, now I will go do the dishes.

In support of Baggage and Bug

I have been missing from Blogland for quite awhile, but I feel inspired tonight. Baggage of BaggageandBug is doing a blog-a-thon where she has to post every half an hour for 24 hours in support of the Foster and Adoptive Care Coalition. I figured this is as good as any of a time when I can get back into the swing of things. I will post every half an hour with her - limited posts, but hopefully I can catch you all up on what has been going on. In between posts I will also try to get some housework done: dishes, clear table, fold laundry, clean office, straighten bedroom. All of this will be done very quietly, however, because the little one is asleep.

More soon

She is a super duper pooper...

She did it! Peanut pooped in the potty! This is a major breakthrough. Seriously people. We were beginning to get somewhere with staying dry bit and using the potty to tinkle, but for whatever reason she has been exceedingly reluctant to poop in the pot. So today she was making her grunting sounds and bending over in the kitchen. I whisked her off to the bathroom and she did a tinkle and announced that she was done. Yeah, um, no your not. So I made her sit there and try. She sat for about 15 minute - every 2 minutes or so announcing that she was done. I would ask her if she'd made a poopy and she'd say, mmm, hmmm. But when I checked - nothing. Halfway through this I said I'd give her a sticker if she did it. She seemed excited, but still no results. Then, just as I was beginning to feel cruel for making her sit there so long, she makes another announcement that she's done it. And lo! RESULTS! Thus we danced around, sang the "Super Duper Pooper" song, and distributed stickers.

She may be potty trained before kindergarten after all.

And after a long break...

I may be back. Peanut is still with us and will likely be with us until mid-summer at least. Potty training is going ever-so-slowly. We've all been in and out of being sick, but just now we are mostly healthy - er, K now reminds me that she has a cold again for the 5th time in as many months since our little Peanut arrived. So much has gone on that I have a hard time even thinking about it, much less writing it out coherently. So I won't. I will just say that K and Peanut are both being very cute as they do yoga together.

And we're off!

Peanut's hearing was stayed again 'til mid-January. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really angry that she hasn't been given the hearing that should have happened in July. I'm super excited to have her for Christmas - and now we can really plan for it instead of just wondering if we will send what we got her with her somewhere else. And I'm also in need of a Peanut-free vacation. All of that aside though, we've begun the true Christmas prep. The tree is HUGE. I did not pick it. The one I would have picked was tall and distinguished, perhaps on the thin side, but I considered it gallant. K however vetoed that idea, and by the time she came up with one she was satisfied with both Peanut and I had had enough galavanting, so we have a 7 foot round/tall tree. K's dad and I almost didn't get it through the door. We had to buy a new tree stand because ours was inadequate. It is smashed into the corner so that it doesn't take over the entire living room. But it is very festive! And Peanut loves it! She helped put the angel on top and decorated the entire bottom row of branches. Then when the presents came out to be put under it she kept picking them up and declaring that they were, "Mine!"
This will be a good Christmas.

Hearing tomorrow - again.

So tomorrow it the 72 hour hearing. Again. Yes, in fact, this was supposed to happen, oh say July/Aug. when Peanut was first brought into care. Both K and I have been having a bit of a hard time, and I'm not sure if it's because of the hearing or just being tired/sick or what. While we try to love/nurture/attach to her, we are also trying to prepare for the possibility that she will be leaving us before Christmas. We've done some shopping for her - as have the grandparents, but have not gotten the stocking shopping done because we don't know if she'll be here. If she goes we'll send all presents we've gotten already with her, but we're not going to get the stocking stuff until we know she'll be with us. There's a book called Maybe Days to help kids in foster care cope with all of the maybes that go with it, but I'm sure feeling like it applies to foster parents just as much.

Our little eater.

We got the timer. Went to the store and picked it out with Peanut. Let it go off a couple of times for practice to let her hear what it would sound like. At dinner we set it on the table and explained that she had until the timer went off to eat as much as she could on her plate and if she ate enough, then she'd get a sticker.

And lo.

She ate. More than half!

And we only sat there for a half an hour!!!

Blood letting and food getting.

Went to the pediatrician on Wednesday. Peanut has gained a mere half pound. The doc has been concerned by how little she is and that she isn't gaining weight as much as she should, so we had to get blood drawn to rule out any biological reason for not gaining. This has been harrowing for us all. Peanut has gone twice before to do this unsuccessfully and she and we have been completely traumatized by it. So finally we went to the pedi unit at the hospital to get the blood drawn, and while it was still completely traumatizing, they got the blood and won't have to do it again! The doc wants us to keep a food journal now, so we've had to get a bit more serious about actual mealtimes so we know just what she's eating. We had gotten away from being so structured in eating because of the power struggle that was happening and, while I think she was actually eating more in the grazing technique where we offered food frequently and in smaller quantities, we weren't really able to keep track of it, so we had stopped the food journal that we were doing when she first came to us. Now with journalling/mealtime reinstated we feel compelled to figure out how to get her to eat more of the meal! The first night was a disaster, ie. power struggle and no food intake. Then the next morning K started something brilliant. Takes A LOT of patience on our part, but we have begun waiting her out. We sit at the table and cheer/bribe/cajole her to eat until at least half of the meal is done. Yesterday we had a two and a half hour breakfast! But she ate half of it! And this morning breakfast was only an hour. But still, we don't necessarily have time for such waiting games on weekdays. We need to buy a timer. One that ticks really loudly. That way she'll either get her sticker or she won't at the end of the time and we can all make it to work/daycare on time.

But she won't eat anything edible.

When I picked up Peanut today I was greeted with, "Ampy Cadle! Ampy Cadle!" Argh? DP(daycare provider)translated by reminding me that they went to Yankee Candle today and then gave me the candles that Peanut apparently made while there. Sweetie jumps up and down with glee when seeing the candles, so I give them to her to hold as I pack her, her blanket, the extra car seat, her winter boots, and the one remaining mitten from the day's adventure into the car. (Mental note - attach all mittens together with shoestrings from this point forward.) I got the candles from her as I buckled her into the car seat, but then at her request let her hold them for the car ride home. Yeah, not such a good idea. As we are traveling the 4 minutes back to the house she is yammering on about Ampy Cadle and making this new smacky sound. Now she makes new sounds all the time, so I wasn't so much concerned and continued the drive home. (Mental note #2 - if child makes smacky sound: be concerned.) At the light I turn around to ask her something - know idea what anymore - to find that she had eaten a sizable chunk out of the middle of the candle! Down to the wick. As well as several other smaller gnaw-marks. I keep my cool. We've only got a minute more until we get home and I can call poison control. Getting her out of the car I hope, but do not find, that she just let the wax shavings fall out of her mouth all over the car - you know, like she does with her breakfast. But no. So we get in the house, and look in her mouth to find wax remnants in her back teeth. Then I call poison control and have to explain that my 2 year old has just ate about a Tablespoon or more of candle wax. The guy, while he didn't believe that she actually consumed it, did let me know that it wasn't harmful to her, but may act as a bit of a laxative. Ok. Well, at least I don't have to worry that she poisoned herself. But, damn, couldn't she have eaten at least as much breakfast or dinner in my presence today as she did candle!

So much for the gym...

So I arranged with K to pick up Peanut so I could go to the step-aerobics class tonight. The last couple weeks I've brought Peanut with me to Y-Time child watch and that works pretty well - she likes it and I get to work out for a meer $4 babysitting fee. But when we do that we don't get home 'til 6:45pm and that is usually when she is finishing dinner, which isn't great. So anyway, I get home, put on the gym clothes, and am on my way out when K and Peanut walk in. We give greetings and hugs all around and then I say, "See you later," which was met by a quick response by Peanut of, "NO! Mommy Joi stay.... Please." Ah, geez. I will either have to get outta the house before they get home or get some more resolve in going to the gym if I intend on getting myself back in shape! So instead of an hour of jumping and pumping I folded laundry, installed a shelf, and refereed dinner. K is doing story time and I will now have a beer and do dishes. I may do yoga later - but ya know I just have this feeling that it's not quite the same workout - specifically when one take into account the dinner geared towards weight gaining that was served up for Sweetie (can I just say it's adorable to have a two-year-old ask specifically for goat cheese).

Happy Feet!

Fantastic movie! But I'll get to that in a moment. So we still have Peanut, and will probably have her through the New Year. They have rescheduled the 72 hour hearing (again) for Dec. 13th, so there is a small chance that she'd go before then, but the social worker doubts it will get heard then as they've already got a full schedule that day before they put her case in. In the meantime, we are loving this kid to pieces and giving her just as much as the three of us can handle.Now on to Happy Feet. So last night we were going to go see a play that the sister-in-law is in with Sweetie, and since it didn't start until 8pm and she usually goes to bed at 7:30pm we put her down for a nap in the afternoon and let her sleep for 3 hours! Now, this may or may not seem completely outrageous. As some background, usually doesn't nap at all, so we were trying to get her well-rested for a big night out on the town. The plan was to go to Friendly's and have dinner, then drive the hour to where the play is. But we didn't take into account how long it takes her to eat - and since she was eating (praise the Goddess above!), we certainly weren't going to rush her. So anyways it was 7:30pm by the time we got done and we realized that we wouldn't make it. But what in heaven's name were we going to do with this very awake child?! We'd already talked about a back-up plan of seeing Happy Feet, but hadn't checked the play times, and were dismayed to find that the last local showing was at 7:00pm. Tower Theater had a 9:00pm showing so we piled in the car. Now let me be clear. I would not normally take a 2-year-old to a 9pm showing because a) it's just way too late!, b)the 9pm crowd is much less kid-friendly than a matinee, and c)I don't want to be judged by others who think they know what's best for other people's kids. But what were we going to do? So off we went to her first movie ever wondering if she'd even stay awake for it. We stopped at one of the posters on the way to the Dirty to get some coffee (because, of course, K and I did not have a 3 hr nap) and showed her the penguin and she was so excited. When we got in the theater the screen was still dark and we pointed it out, but she didn't seem to get that that is where she'd see the penguin. Then the preview came on and her little eyes and mouth popped wide open and she says, "Oh, TV! Big TV! HUGE TV!!" We are of course, trying to hush her and encourage inside voice, but it was just too much! She was just so enthralled! I don't think I've seen her that continuously awed ever. So cute! She did calm down so she at least she wasn't being obnoxious by the time the actual movie came on (and certainly not as obnoxious as the girl on her cell phone all the way through the previews), and she stayed awake through the whole thing. I was dually impressed. This morning she slept until 10:30am. We slept, snuggled, e-mailed, sorted the laundry and paid the bills before she stirred - amazing. Though, I'm thinking we should have stirred her earlier, because she is now still stirring in her crib an hour after she was put down. So what do you think, would you have thought we were nuts with a 2 year old at a 9pm show?

Give me strength.

How will I give this child up when the time comes? Every day we are growing more attached. I've been doing a pretty good job of living in the here and now and only focusing on what she needs right now, which is a loving home with loving parents where she knows she's cared about, but today I couldn't help but think about her growing up and wondering what will become of her. I want as much control over that as possible. I want her to have the loving home she deserves - that any child deserves. I want her to grow up knowing she is strong and can accomplish just what she puts her mind to. I want to know that she will learn values and morals that will teach respect for everyone. But all we can do is give her as much of all of this as we can right now, because we don't know if we'll have her next week, or next month, or next year. Sure, sure, it looks plausible that she'll be with us for at least the next 6 months, but the 1st hearing is next Wednesday, and if the judge, for whatever reason, sides with the parents, she could be removed from us. And then we have our life back - with a great big hole it in where Peanut was. I think that would be the worst case scenario for all - her parents aren't ready to take her back, and if she gets put in a different foster home then that is just bad for her. Or we could have her for the next 6 months, her parent could get their act together, and she could live the life that she was perhaps meant to live. I suppose that would be the best case scenario. And then of course there is the scenario that I am not willing to spent to much time thinking about. The one where she becomes legally free for adoption. Do we want to take that step? Could we not take that step? Aie! She is sleeping peacefully in the other room. We are all finally beginning to feel better. I just checked in on her and she was sleeping in the oddest little position with one leg crossed over the other, but above the knee. All she needed was a piece of straw sticking out of her mouth and she'd a looked like a lazy cowgirl.

And we thought she couldn't count.

Tonight at the dinner table, I said, "I'm done."

And Peanut said, "Done!", and pushed her plate away.

So I said back to her, "Are you done, too?"

And she said pointed to me, and said, "You done?"
Then pointed to herself and said, "I done two?"
And finally pointed to K and said, " Mommy done three?"

Cuteness gone rampant

Even though I can barely breathe or hear through this cold of mine, I've got to say that Peanut is the cutest thing this side of the Mississippi. All I wanted to do when I got home was crawl directly into bed, but K and Peanut came home shortly after I did and went out to the car to help bring in the child and all associated gear. Peanut saw me and greeted me with bouncing glee, so I scoop her up and K got the gear. The cute part comes when we enter the house and she says, equally gleefully, "Oh, light on!" and then she saw a pillow, and squeels with delight, "Oh, pillow!" and wiggles down to hug the pillow with her whole self. I just don't get how she can be so gosh darn happy and cute when she's just as sick as we are, but she is and that almost makes getting this sick worth it. Story time now, and then bed.

Alright, alright, alright!

Now for the update on my newly found momdom. Because Peanut is a foster child, I can't give her real name here, or unfortunately post a picture, but lemme just tell ya, she is as cute as a bug in a rug. And a huge ball of energy. From the moment she gets up she goes. And she just keeps on going all the way until we put her down. And then she sometimes even keeps going. She's like the Energizer bunny! Thankfully until this weekend she was sleeping through the night. I'm hoping that trend will reinstate itself when she starts feeling better, and I hope she starts feeling better soon. And can we not have her bring another germy bug home from daycare?! All three of us have sore throats, congestion, fevers, and coughs. She also has what another blog-mom has coined "assplosions". I'll leave the details of that up to your imagination. Right now I'm getting a couple extra hours in at my old job while K and Peanut are at home - hopefully both sleeping and getting well. I will soon go home and sleep again, ah, blissfull sleep...

Mama

That would be me. Our happy bliss of newlyweddom has been bombarded by our newly aquired 2-year-old foster daughter. Wow. That's really all I have energy to post right now. Just wow.